Transformers Huminated: Headmaster
by TheWeasel027
Summary: The supervillain known as Headmaster seeks revenge by stealing the body of one of the Humanformer Autobots and using it to go on a ramapage.
1. Headmaster

"It is so awesome to meet you! I mean. Well, I feel like such a noob. And you're _Isaac Sumdac_. The big man! The guy who started the robot revolution! I grew up tinkering with your bots, and now I'm working for you! It's to wild huh?!"

"Well yes it is 'wild'," Sumdac nodded, "And my project managers have told me great things about the young inventor, Henry Masterson. So, you have a new project idea?"

"Oh yeah. It totally kicks. I call it the Headmaster unit!" Masterson pulled out a helmet-sized device shaped like a head with a long grin and horns.

"Seems interesting. How does it work?"

"Imagine this:" A large robot stomped behind Sumdac who gasped at the sight, "You're in battle, and you're up against a war-bot. Like this guy for instance." Masterson pulled out a small remote and threw the Headmaster at the war-bot. the Headmaster floated above its head.

"Did you say 'war-bot'?"

"You can use the Headmaster to take control of the war-bot and use it to totally OWN the competition!" The Headmaster activated a laser, cut off the war-bot's head, and planted itself down on the bot's shoulders.

"You just said it again!"

"Wait a sec, this part rules! The enemy gets fragged by their own rockets!" Masterson pressed buttons on the controller. A small rocket on the back of the war-bot fired up.

"Henry Masterson! I have told my staff time and again! We do not use military robots! Or Headmasters that use other military robots for…military things!"

"I know, but this is so cool!" The controls started to spark. Masterson tapped on it. The rocket on the war-bot's back fired and launched. Masterson stared at the rocket. "Suh-weet."

"There is nothing sweet about it! That rocket is headed for the city! Oh and by the way, you're fired!"

********************************************************************

"So tell me Bulkhead, as the most imposing and destructive of the Autobots, do you ever fear for the damage you might inflict on an unsuspecting city?" the news-bot asked.

"Wait a sec. I thought we were supposed to talk about how people shouldn't be afraid of me," Bulkhead protested, "I'm as gentle as a…really gentle thing." Bulkhead tried to grab the news-bot's microphone but accidentally pulled of its arm. "Sorry. Now, I may be big and crush stuff. Accidentally. But I've got a sensitive side too."

"_Bulkhead, we've got a situation!"_ Optimus called over the comlink, _"There's a rocket headed for downtown but we can't make it in time!"_

"I'm on it!" Bulkhead gave the news-bot back its arm. "Sorry." Bulkhead then ran off. Bulkhead found where the rocket was about to hit. He pulled out his wrecking ball, spun it through the air tearing through most of the surrounding walls, and whacked a mailbox into the air. The mailbox struck the rocket and exploded. The other Autobots arrived and looked at the carnage Bulkhead'd caused. His wrecking ball had torn through building, cars, and street signs.

"I guess I made a kinda mess," Bulkhead sighed.

"Well, um, no more than usual," Optimus mumbled.

"Never before has this reporter seen such carnage, such destruction, as in the wake of the Autobot, Bulkhead," the news-bot said into its camera. The charred mailbox came down and crushed the news-bot. "Now back to you in the stuuudiiooooo." A young boy gasped.

"It's okay little boy," Bulkhead picked up the mailbox and then the news-bot, "He's okay. See?" The news-bot's head popped off and rolled to the boy's feet. Its eyes popped out of its head. The boy started crying. A woman ran to the boy and hugged him.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" the woman accused. Bulkhead groaned.

********************************************************************

"It can't be that bad," Sari patted Bulkhead's back, "You saved the city after all."

"If by 'all' you mean destroying half of it, then yeah. He sure did," Bumblebee responded.

"Not helping. You know, you need to do something creative. Make something instead of break it. Like knitting. Or cooking. Or art."

"Who's art?"

"Not a who. A what. It's a—well it's kinda—sorta—well you've just gotta see it."

*******************************************************************

With the help of tudor-bot, Bulkhead was given the chance to see most of history's greatest paintings. When he felt he'd seen enough to understand it, Sari gave him a brush. He found his hands too big for the thin brush. Sari gave him a bigger one. He once again found that the brush was still not quite enough. Sari gave him a broom. The broom was now too big for the canvas. Bulkhead now happily painted on a blank billboard. Yet there was still a problem.

"Hey! We've got graffiti laws in this town ya know!" Fanzone barked.

******************************************************************

"Just hold it for a little longer," Bulkhead held his thumb up for reference at Bumblebee's pose involving his leg over his head and stinger armed. He then continued painting…his thumb.

"I still don't quite understand the logic of creating an image with such primitive tools," Optimus said.

"I believe it's more about creating an image from one's imagination. Like this one for instance," Prowl motioned to one of Bulkhead's paintings.

"Actually that was an accident with Ratchet's blowtorch," Bulkhead confessed.

"You ask me, it's all a waste of time!" Ratchet injected, "No one ever saved anyone with _art_."

"I'm not trying to save anyone!" Bulkhead sighed, "I'm just trying to—I dunno. 'Express how I feel.'" Bulkhead proceeded with his painting. The broom snapped. Bulkhead roared and threw the canvas at Bumblebee. Bumblebee was knocked onto his side.

"I'm guessing you're feeling anger?" Bumblebee peeped.

"This stinks! I stink. I'm no good at this stuff. All I can do is break stuff. I'm embarrassed for anyone to even look at this junk," Bulkhead sighed.

"Hey Bulkhead!" Sari ran up to him, "I just booked you a spot at an art gallery! A real art gallery! Isn't this exciting?!" Bulkhead gasped in horror and ran out of the base as fast as he could.

******************************************************************

"Oh, we do not make war-bots," Masterson said in an impression of Isaac Sumdac while playing Rock-em-Sock-em-Sumdac using two bots, two headmasters, and a drawing of himself and Sumdac, "Oh, you are so fired. Well take this old man!" The "Masterson" bot struck the "Sumdac" bot and knocked it to the ground.

"If you're too much of a wuss to make headmasters, I'll just have to make em myself. Hey, my own company! That'd be so wicked sick! All I need is bag loads of cash! But I can't start using _just_ my plain ol' headmasters. I need something more. Something with a kick. Something _no one_ else would ever even think to make! What if, I took over a person? Yeah, I could use em for like body guards and stuff! I could have like an army! But I'll need a guinea pig." Masterson flipped through the channels until he found news of Bulkhead saving the city from the rocket and grinned.

*****************************************************************

Bulkhead walked through town kicking a Pepsi can.

"Art show? What was she thinking?! I don't have enough pieces. And the ones I have stink." Before Bulkhead could lament further, a taser struck him in the chest and sent volts of electricity through his body. Bulkhead collapsed. Before Bulkhead lost consciousness, he could see a device float over his head and lower itself and heard the words, "Total ownage."

******************************************************************

When he awoke it was daytime.

"Ooh, my aching head. What happened last night? Hey, I feel funny." Bulkhead looked down and stared in horror. Everything from the neck down was gone.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!"


	2. Where Is My Body?

"How…do you _lose_…an entire…BODY?!" Bumblebee questioned, "Especially one _your _size! It's like losing a planet or something."

"I don't know," Bulkhead shook his…you know, "It's like I was just standing there. Then there was this sudden _shock_. And then…nothing. Could this day get any worse?"

"Well, at least I have some news," Ratchet said, "You're not really your head. You're currently a robotic skull with a layer of synthetics and Bulkhead's mind. An android's head."

"And that's gonna make me feel better?"

"Don't worry Bulkhead, the police are already looking for your…body. And we're on our way to help," Optimus assured, "Bumblebee, you take care of Bulkhead."

"No problem," Bumblebee patted Bulkhead's head, "_Little_ buddy."

"It just got worse," Bulkhead groaned.

******************************************************************

"Oh I get it! You're tired of looking _up_ to me," Bumblebee chuckled, "Now you know how I feel." Bumblebee set Bulkhead on top of a ladder. Bulkhead fell off, rolled on the ground, and knocked over several barrels. "Awesome! Bowling for Bulkheads! Let's do it again!"

"Uhh, let's not. I still need to make art pieces for the gallery. And I don't have hands!"

"I can do it! I mean, if you can, how hard can it be?"

*****************************************************************

Bumblebee set the blowtorch down and admired his work.

"See? With your imagination, and my hands, it's magnificent! It's inspiring," Bumblebee cheered.

"It's on fire!" Bulkhead screamed. The blowtorch had been left on and the flames had spread to the art piece.

"Oh! I got it! No problem! Uh, where's the fire extinguisher?!"

"Attached to Prime!"

"Okay, well problem. Don't just sit there! Gimme a hand!" Bulkhead gave him a look instead. "Right, sorry." Bumblebee ran off and returned with a hose. He sprayed a blast of water at the piece and accidentally swept Bulkhead away in the current. With some quick handywork, Bumblebee "repaired" the art piece and used Bulkhead as the center piece.

"Uh, Bumblebee, I'm all for being one with my art. But this might be taking it a little too far!"

"I was just trying to help. You need to relax."

"What I _need_ is a body!"

"Alright alright! Don't lose your head!"

*****************************************************************

"When I heard what happened to Bulkhead, I'd suspected my former employee, Henry Masterson, might've been involved," Sumdac said. Ratchet attached his eye piece. He scanned the room for Bulkhead's DNA, fingerprints, and shoeprints.

"Bulkhead was definitely here," Ratchet concluded.

"Then let's get moving," Fanzone said, "This place gives me the creeps."

"As well it should captain," Sumdac warned, "If Masterson has Bulkhead's body, it cannot be a good thing."

*****************************************************************

"_We're on the trail for Bulkhead's body. We should find it…soon,"_ Optimus reported.

"Take your time," Bumblebee smiled, "We found a temporary body that's working." Meanwhile, Bulkhead hummed a tune while painting, with tudor-bot's body. Suddenly Bulkhead started shaking, then ran in place.

"What are you doing?" Bumblebee asked.

"I feel like I'm running! And smashing through things. It's weird."

"I knew this day would come. You finally lost all your marbles. With what little you had to begin with."

"I'm serious! I can feel it."

"Maybe I should check the news." Bumblebee clicked on the news station.

"_I'm here on the scene where the Autobot Bulkhead has gone on a destructive rampage!"_ the news-bot reported. Bulkhead's body, now wearing the Headmaster unit, tore through fences and other defenses with his wrecking ball, strength, and size.

"Well, on the bright side, we found your body." Bulkhead's body easily dispensed with the police drones using his wrecking ball. When reinforcements arrived, he knocked down a communications tower with the wrecking ball, bringing the tower down on top of them.

"I can feel everything my body's doing! But I can't stop it!"

"you're like a savage war-bot!"

"_Listen up noobs!"_ Henry Masterson appeared on the television, _"The Headmaster, that's me, has just hacked your regularly scheduled program to give you posers some real news! This solar fusion power plant is under my _total _domination! You have one hour to pay up seven hundred billion dollars of the long green delivered _personally_ off the back of Isaac Sumdac. Or I'll cook up an overload that'll frag the entire state of Michigan! I prepared a simulation for the creatively impaired. Domination station: total wasteland!"_ A small simulation of Detroit appeared with an explosion directly at the center, _"So pay up, or be _owned_. Mhmhmhm ahahaha!"_


	3. Total Ownage

"Seven hundred billion dollars," Fanzone whistled, "Now that ain't no chump change. So what do we do?"

"Pay him," Optimus replied. Fanzone and Sumdac looked at him. "And here's how."

******************************************************************

A convoy of vehicles, consisting of Fanzone's car, a motorcycle police officer, an ambulance, and a trailer truck, entered the fusion facility.

"That's far enough," Headmaster stopped them, "Alright, everybody out, hands where I can see em." The motorcycle officer stepped off the motorcycle, Fanzone and a young officer stepped out of his car, a doctor stepped out of the ambulance, and another officer and Sumdac stepped out of the truck. They all obediently raised their hands.

"I'm unarmed," Fanzone assured, "You don't mind if we attend to any potential wounded?"

"Gimme the cash and you can do whatever you want noob!"

"It's in the truck. All seven hundred billion," Sumdac pointed. Headmaster walked to Sumdac.

"Too bad, you've been punked. And I'm gonna trash the city anyway! And you're lame-o Sumdac Systems with it! And you wanna know the cool part? this is just the kinda attack the government will want my weapons to defend against!" Masterson remotely started the overload sequence.

"_Warning: power overload imminent. Please reset dampening rods,"_ the computer alerted.

"It's a smoking business plan. High demand. No competition. Plenty of seed money," Masterson laughed.

"Don't you want to count your money Mr. Masterson?" Sumdac innocently asked, "Make sure it's all there?" Headmaster walked to the truck trailer and opened it up. Bulkhead's head angrily jumped out and bit Headmaster on the shoulder.

"I want my body back!" Bulkhead demanded.

"Get offa me!" Headmaster threw Bulkhead away. Prowl dropped the holographic cloak on the other police and doctor, revealing them to be the Autobots.

"I believe the saying is 'Total Ownage. _Noob_,'" Sumdac mocked.

"Sneak attack," Masterson gasped.

"Got that right! Punk!" Ratchet kicked Headmaster in the gut. Optimus punched him in the head.

"Ow! Careful with the bod!" Bulkhead exclaimed. Bumblebee ran around Headmaster and wrapped him with a cable.

"That all you got noob?" Headmaster easily broke out of the cables, "Did I mention I got some upgrades?" The Headmaster unit grew small rockets and a laser. "Taste my ownage!" The Headmaster launched several grenades. One of the grenades landed next to Bulkhead. Bumblebee zoomed over and snatched him away from it, just as it exploded. Headmaster then launched his rockets. One of them struck Ratchet and blew him away. "Bomb punch! Yeah! The only thing more fun than getting toys. Is breaking them!"

****************************************************************

Sumdac, Sari, and Fanzone ran over the overhead boardwalk. The boardwalk's midsection had been turned.

"We have to reset the dampening rods!" Sumdac keyed in on the control panel.

"The controls are stuck!" Sari exclaimed. Fanzone smashed his fist down on the panel. The midsection turned and completed their path to the other side.

"I got a way with machines," Fanzone rubbed his fist on his chest.

****************************************************************

Optimus struck at Headmaster with his axe, but he caught it and forced him against a wall. He activated his laser and shot at Optimus's neck.

"We've gotta help Prime!" Bumblebee exclaimed.

"Bumblebee! Bowling for Bulkheads!" Bulkhead replied. Bumblebee nodded, started a run, then rolled Bulkhead at Headmaster. Bulkhead took Headmaster's feet out from under him. Headmaster then kicked Bulkhead away, but Bumblebee caught him. Prowl attacked with his shuriken.

"You wanna play too?" Headmaster fired his laser at him. Prowl ran on the wall to avoid the beam.

****************************************************************

"This wiring is elementary," Sumdac keyed in on the control pad, "I'll have it fixed in no time."

"Incoming!" Fanzone pushed the Sumdacs out of the way of a stray rocket. The rocket blew apart the pad.

"_Fusion core overload in five point two minutes. Please evacuate to a safe distance."_

****************************************************************

Prowl delivered a kick to Headmaster's chest knocking him down. the Autobots surrounded him.

"Later noobs! Time for me to _head out_!" the Headmaster detatched itself from Bulkhead, slid off his head, and flew off.

"If only I had my wrecking ball!" Bulkhead shouted.

"My grappler!" Optimus fired his grappling hook. Bulkhead bit down on it. Optimus spun him around and launched him at the Headmaster. He made a direct hit and knocked him out of the air. Bumblebee caught Bulkhead. Sari pushed her key into Bulkhead's neck. Bulkhead gasped and went unconscious. Bulkhead, the real Bulkhead, woke up.

"My head…hurts…so bad," Bulkhead rubbed his temples.

"We'll be able to track his transmissions," Optimus picked up the Headmaster unit, "Now that we have this."

"We have a bigger problem at the moment! The solar fusion core is about to overload!" Sumdac reminded, "The only way to stop it now is for someone to go in there and _manually_ put the rods back in place."

"That's a one way trip. No one could survive," Ratchet grimly said.

"I'll go," Optimus volunteered, "I couldn't send anyone else in there."

"Wait! I've got an idea! But I'm gonna need some help," Bulkhead insisted.

*******************************************************************

The Autobots, Sumdacs, and Fanzone worked together to create a robot using several scraps around the facility and Ratchet's tools. When it was finally done, Sari used her key to activate it. The robot walked into the fusion core. The alert system began the countdown.

"_Fusion core overload in twenty seconds…Fusion core overload in ten, nine, eight seven, six, five—Dampening rods reset. Fusion core stable."_ Everyone in the room cheered.

"See Ratchet? Art _can_ save people," Bulkhead smiled.

*****************************************************************

"You think I should tell em that one was kind of an accident?" Bulkhead ask Sari, looking at the melted remains of the robot which now served as Bulkhead's most popular piece.

"What they don't know won't hurt em," Sari shrugged.

"I think I understand now," Optimus said admiring Bulkhead's first painting, "Art is about feeling. And this one makes me feel: _proud_." The Autobots gathered around the art piece of the Autobots posed together as a family called, "Friends Forever."


End file.
